Who am I ?

I have 3 official names; Evita Dwipayana Evangeline/ 翁繪茹 /Chandrika Ratnadevi. One in Indonesian, one in Chinese, and one in Sanskrit. If you ask me why, it's a long story, but they are related to my backgrounds.

 

Most people call me by my birth name, Evita. However, Ever since I moved to Japan in 2017, people started to call me Ebi-chan (エビちゃん) because apparently my name is a little bit difficult to pronounce with a Japanese tongue. Chinese speaking people usually call me by my Chinese name. Regardless, feel free to call me anything. 

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My parents are both ethnically Chinese which makes me Chinese Indonesian. My father is a 4th generation Chinese Indonesian from KinMen, while my mom is a 3rd generation Chinese Indonesian from XiaMen. They were born in a small village called Bagan Siapi-Api before they got married and decided to start a new life in Yogyakarta, my birthplace.

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In the past, Chinese Indonesian were unable to express their culture freely. Every Chinese name must be changed into Indonesian sounding name. My parents gave me a Javanese name and 10 years later, my granduncle gave me a Chinese name. 

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In 2004, my family moved to the capital city of Jakarta to start a new business. Having a thick Javanese accent, I had a hard time making friends and adapting to a new urban lifestyle. 

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I am beyond thankful to be exposed to many religions as a child as it really help me understand different human motivations. The majority religion in this religious country was Islam, the default, the foundation of media and grounds in Indonesia. At elementary school, I studied with Catholic education for 7 years and in middle school and high school, I moved to a Christian Protestant based school which makes me very familiar with Christianity. My parents follow the traditional Chinese religion such as Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism. 

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So, who am I ?

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Outside this website, I don't talk about my backgrounds. Because when I do, people will immediately assume things about me. Aside from the fear of being judged as a minority, I want people to know that I am not defined by my background. I think people around me tend to categorize themselves and using the "mine is better than yours" mentality to judge others. That significantly affected my mental health and made me feel helpless.

 

I don't think and act like “my people“. I always feel alone, like I don't belong anywhere up until my first encounter with the internet. And thus my first journey of self discovery began. 

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I learned about the Japanese culture from music, anime, drama, and YouTube. One day, I discovered Steph Choi who introduced me to life as an international student. She is a Japanese American who did an exchange program in South Korea and she documented her life on YouTube. I can relate to her in so many ways. We both are open to learn about new culture and she inspired me to start a completely new life abroad as an international student. 

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In 2017, I went to Japan to pursue my undergraduate degree in Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University and it was the one of the best life decision that I have made. I met so many different people from all around the world, some of them even came from countries that I didn't know exist.

 

We don't just meet, but we also live, and build wonderful memories together. Although we came from a diverse background, we come together under “freedom, peace and humanity”. We support each other as we came to the same place with the same purpose, to shape our world into a better place to live.  

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Who am I? 

 

I guess who I am is exactly the same as who you are. Not better than. Not less than.

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Because there is no one who has been or will ever be exactly the same as either you or me.